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7 Tips for Body Image Issues in Threesomes

Man Looking Down PJs in front of Lover

Very few people have zero issues with their body. Even the most fit, athletic men and women can feel trepidation about dropping their drawers in front of another human, and that body image anxiety can double with a third party present.

Should you avoid threesomes because you have body image issues? No way.

A threesome doesn’t come around every day, and it can take a long time to plan one. If you wait until you are a hundred percent comfortable in your skin, you might be waiting around a long time.

As someone who struggles with body image issues, I’ve got lots of tips to help you when it comes to mixing it up with two others for threesome fun.

Dealing with Body Image Issues in Threesomes

1. Know that You’re Not Alone

As I mentioned, we all have bodies, or parts, that we’d like to modify in some way. And frankly, that sucks. The shift should be to acceptance rather than change, unless said change would improve health as well. Women know that it’s not just them that feels pressure from society to fit into a certain mold. The world is changing gradually, but not fast enough for everyone.

2. Choose Partners You Trust

Before you get naked with someone, you want to know how they view different bodies, whether that has to do with size and shape, or ability, or hair, or other features. Your partner is hopefully already accepting of your body, but when you’re looking for a third, be mindful of what they say or what they’ve written in their profile in regards to discrimination or prejudice against certain body types.

Read: Where to Find a Third for Your Next Threesome

3. Turn the Lights Down Low

Us body conscious folks have been doing this forever to avoid highlighting what we perceive to be our flaws. Sometimes lovers actually want to really see everything up close and personal, so dimming the lights can be a compromise. Being comfortable is what counts. I used to like it dark as ink for sex, and now dim lighting is fine, but I still don’t like daylight sex.

4. Don’t Compare

Okay, this recommendation is tough if you’re critical of your body, but you can stop comparing through practice and mindfulness when you catch yourself doing it. No two bodies are alike (unless they’re airbrushed or photoshopped) so it’s a losing battle to compare yourself to others, especially others in a group-sex encounter when you want to be fully present to enjoy the experience.

Read: How to Handle Jealousy in Threesomes

5. Keep Self-Deprecation to a Minimum

If you have used humor as a coping strategy for your body issues, you may feel compelled to jiggle your belly while cracking a joke or strum your hairy banjo to say you know it’s small, but these kinds of things are usually not necessary and draw more attention to your insecurities than anything else. Confidence is sexy—if you don’t quite have it, it’s okay to fake it til you make it.

6. Work with What You’ve Got

You certainly can’t dislike every inch of your body, right? Instead of focusing on your stretch marks, think about the weight you lost to get them. Or instead of thinking about the weight you want to lose, think about your strong arms or awesome wavy hair or cute freckles or squeezable butt… or whatever else your current or past partners have loved about your body, and the things YOU like about your body.

Read: BBW Threesomes: The Skinny on Chubby Sex

7. Address Your Issues Outside the Bedroom if Needed

Enjoy your threesome, even with your body issues, and enjoy all the sex you have. But if sex is something you only fantasize about because your body image issues prevent you from dating or even talking to potential dates, then you may want to consider seeking counselling. Individual and group therapy (specifically designed for those with body images or eating disorders) can be life changing. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

How do you manage body image issues when considering a threesome? Please share in the comments!

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