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Your First Orgy: 6 Tips for Sex Parties

Romantic Couple in Bed

Are you and your partner planning to attend an orgy or a gathering that is supposed to end up in some kind of sexual group exploration? Most people who host “sex parties” don’t actually call them sex parties or orgies, but usually those invited know that there’s a good chance that something sexy might go down.

For the sake of this post, I’ll use the term “sex party” to describe a party where there’s a good chance that an orgy is going to happen out in the open with adventurous-minded souls.

So if this is your first orgy, there are some things to think about, plan for, and discuss with your partner.

6 Tips for Your First Orgy

1. Know the Players

If it’s a close friend, you’ll have the inside scoop on who is going to be at the orgy so you can think about what you might like to happen. But if it’s just a friend of a friend of a friend, chances are you’re not going to know most of those attending.

See what you can find out, whether it’s through a social media closed group or forum or just through the grapevine. Even knowing the size of the gathering can be helpful.

2. Present Well

When you go to an orgy or sex party, you don’t just want to wear what you do to a Super Bowl hang with your friends. Think about what you’re going to wear, how you will look as a couple, and what vibe or energy you want to give off. If you’re stuck, think casual sexy.

And don’t forget what’s beneath the clothes. When it comes to personal grooming, you can follow manscaping rules, but you’re fine if you just keep the hedges pruned and the grass trimmed.

Read: Threesome Hygiene Etiquette

3. Keep Expectations Low

We’ve all seen how orgies are depicted in movies, or worse, porn. What you see is more fantasy than reality, not how things actually unfold. A sex party is usually like any other kind of party—people show up, mingle, have some drinks, enjoy some food, get to know one another by mingling.

There might be sex, because everyone going is open to the idea ahead of time. But it doesn’t mean there will be for sure, because you might not hit it off with the right people.

Read: What I Learned from My Recent Sex Orgy

4. Practice Safe Orgy Sex

I probably don’t need to remind orgy lovers about this one, but what the heck, I like to throw it in with most of my tip sheets. It’s important for any couples who are in a open or polyamorous relationship where secondary partners might be involved or just random play partners.

It should be up to the host to provide condoms, but don’t rely on that—bring your own, and anything else you think you might need or want like lube, sanitizer (for toys) and even a small shower kit in your bag.

Read: Tips for Safe Group Sex

5. Respect all Boundaries and Be Clear on Your Own

Know what you are willing to do as a couple and as individuals, and not willing to do, before going to an orgy. Making sure you’re on the same page before going in will help you to avoid any awkward naked moments in front of people you barely know. You’ll have a lot of fun conversations the week before the party about what you hope to happen, just be sure to include the practical side of things.

Sometimes there are rules that hosts will let you know about before  you show up. I welcome these, as they help keep anyone from acting out of line, and serve as an etiquette guideline for guests.

6. Know when to Leave the Orgy

You never want to overstay your welcome at an orgy. Most of the time you’ll just know intuitively when your host wants to wrap things up. Of course, if you’re not comfortable for whatever reason, you can leave at any time.

If you are enjoying yourself, be aware of your surroundings and make sure that you’re not the last to leave, unless your host has expressed that he or she has no problem with you staying longer or would love for you to stay overnight.

When you do go, be gracious and express your gratitude to signal you would love to be on the guest list in the future.

Want more tips for your first orgy? Read 10 Tips for Your First Sex Party.

Orgy lovers and sex party people: What tips would you add?

Tell us what you think!

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