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Will a Threesome Ruin Your Relationship?

Loving Couple in Bed

The vast majority of people fantasize about threesomes at least sometimes, and for many it’s a recurring dream—or reality.

How Threesomes Affect Relationships: Pros and Cons

Threesomes are notoriously awkward and often go down in the black book of bad memories for having failed to live up to our hot hopes, or for ruining a relationship outright.

Some of this reputation is ill-deserved, because like anything else, practice makes perfect. Having one or two threesomes that go awry too often means not following up with more experience under our belts.

When we’re in a long-term relationship, we need to consider the pros and cons of threesomes. Lots can go wrong and you may worry a threesome will ruin your relationship, but there are also amazing benefits.

4 Potential Hazards of Threesomes

1. One partner becomes more interested in the novelty than in the relationship.

A common complaint among women after a threesome is that the new woman takes on more importance than she does, even if you never see her again.

The novelty and rush from the shiny new “object” is powerful, and can totally take your attention away from the woman you have committed to.

This can happen to her, too, with an MMF threesome, or with the thrill of experiencing sex with another woman.

2. One partner falls for the new lover.

It’s not just the variety in sex—sometimes one partner mistakes the high for emotional connection and falls in love with the third. Sometimes one of you even runs off into the sunset with the unicorn, leaving a perfectly good relationship in tatters.

Read: What to Do when You Fall in Love with Your Third

3. After a high like that, the sex between you starts to suck.

Both of you were happy with the sex you were having, and enjoyed adventures along the way. After the threesome, it feels like you reached the peak of sex, and just the two of you at home doing it the old way loses its luster. This is one one way a threesome can ruin a relationship, unless both of you realize it’s a temporary come-down and are willing to wait it out.

4. One of you suddenly has a jealousy problem.

While it is super exciting to see your partner writhing in ecstasy with a stranger, it can change you if you’re not prepared for the emotional response. Suddenly she’s constantly checking your call and text list, or you think any guy from work that she mentions is her new secret lover. Not cool.

Read: Threesome Tips for Jealous Types

4 Potential Benefits of Threesomes

1. The home fires are reignited.

On the other hand, sharing an intense thrill together can take the sex between you to the next level. Lots of couples report fantastic sex together after they open the relationship. After all, if someone else gets so turned on by your partner, it reminds you of what you’ve got going.

Read: How a Threesome Can Benefit Your Long-Term Relationship

2. Trust and communication are improved.

Secure lovers might find that the risk takes you to a new height of trust and intimacy, and the difficult task of navigating the boundaries, adventure, and aftermath of a threesome gives you a profound opportunity for communication.

3. The intimacy of a shared sexual adventure makes both parties more open.

Making memories together, in and out of bed, is essential to longevity. Having a shared secret is incredibly bonding, and trusting each other through a sexy romp with others often means couples feel more open to exploring their sexuality together.

5 Ways Threesomes Can Benefit a Marriage

4. Being open to variety, neither partner feels trapped.

Having a green light to be sexual with other people can take the pressure off a relationship. Lots of couples have the caveat that the extracurricular lovers are shared, not private—in other words, threesomes rather than the poly lifestyle.

Read: Is Your Relationship Ready for a Threesome?

How did a threesome affect or ruin a relationship for you? Tell us in the comments below.

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