Do Aphrodisiacs Really Work?

The quest to enhance the best in life is as universal as it is ancient.

If it’s just not enough for you to have two babes climbing on top of you at once, or if you’ve sometimes felt you need a little help to keep up, you may have considered trying an aphrodisiac.

Do any of these magic bullets actually work? Are they safe? Let’s talk about some popular aphrodisiacs.

Ancient Chinese Secrets

There are stories in every culture about animals that gave the gods their superpowers. Traditional Chinese Medicine was filled with herbs, mushrooms, and dried animal parts, and some of that turned into lore about virility.

Indigenous lore in the Americas included chemical substances from plants and insects—Spanish Fly is literally the toxins in a Colombian beetle. There are bats, wasps, and fish with poisons that can make your pecker tingle. Toad and snake venom might also cause hallucinations and death, but hey, you’ll go out with a bang.

Herbal Teas

Just as animal parts and insects can have chemical effects on your body, so can teas and herbal preparations.

Some herbs contribute pleasantly to sex. Marijuana, for example.

One of the most popular herbs is epimedium, known as horny goat weed. It is rumored to give guys the king of hard ons and greatly enhance the sensations on the skin. It promises more circulation to women’s bits as well. People report very modest enhancement to sensation, not usually worth paying for twice. Clinically, the only proven benefit in medicine is to bone density for post-menopausal women.

Pheromones

The idea that our own body secretes magical substances that entice members of the opposite sex makes sense because we know it to be true—hormones and smells allure us to others. In 1959, we named another substance “pheromones” and think of it as a scent processed unconsciously by a “second” kind of nose. Some worms and moths have pheromones that are interpreted by the opposite sex, and they are a siren call for reproduction.

Androstenone is the substance best known, and you can buy it for ninety-five bucks and see what happens. Or you can get licked by a wild boar, as it is also present in boar saliva, or rub yourself with truffle mushrooms.

There is no doubt whatsoever that humans excrete substances that signal to other humans information about sex, health, danger, and fertility. But there is no evidence that buying these things off the shelf can improve sex.

Chemicals and Drugs

One reason why illegal drugs are so appealing is because of the effects on social interactions with potential sexual mates. Shy types get a boost, dudes with three left feet find themselves dancing effortlessly, and inhibitions are gone with the wind.

Gay men have meth and sex marathon parties. Party players report that MDMA enhances connectivity and tactile sensations, even though orgasm is made more difficult. Cocaine makes lots of people pervy and bold.

It sounds great, but the thrill is short and the fallout heavy. A few blasts with MDMA and you have to re-grow the neurotransmitter circuits to feel anything at all. Meth takes a melonballer to your brain matter, and high incidences of HIV and syphilis follow.

Oysters, Chocolate, Chiles, Peaches, Figs, Asparagus…

Some foods are rumored to enhance sex. It’s not folklore, just basic science. We need nutrients to fuel all of our functions, including sexual vitality. Supporting our sexuality with nourishing fuel is the best approach to pleasure, endurance and health.

Chocolate has a plethora of natural chemicals, and antioxidants stimulate the brain and organs. Take yours without sugar to mimic the Aztec gods. Oysters contain more zinc than any other food, plus they look and taste like a vagina!

Don’t waste your money or your mind on useless promises—instead, spend it with your dates on a great meal. Keep it light, then head to the bedroom…

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