Having low sexual confidence can become a negative feedback loop. The worse that things get, the more hopeless it can feel.
Swagger come and goes. A person gets to be more sexy by being more sexy. Part of it is eradicating desperation, and part of it is seeming casual and normal when talking to love and sex interests.
I personally think that 90% of what pick-up artists say is horseshit. It might work for picking up people with low self-esteem or people who barely have two brain cells to rub together, but if you want the full package—romance, sex, conversation, companionship—the big secret is loving yourself.
Do you feel loveable? Do you think that you deserve love, respect, and devotion? If you answered no to these questions, then you have discovered the heart of your sexual woes.
The solution is essentially to fake it until you make it.
Tell yourself that you’re loveable. Look in the mirror, stare yourself in the eyes, and say it out loud. You might not even believe it, but you need to say it every day until it’s internalized and it is true. Any horse can be tamed, but it takes time and trust. You’re taming your own doubt and self-sabotage. Why are you letting those wretched animals ride over you?
Dress sexy. There are plenty of people who are sexy as fuck who dress any way they like. This is because they have achieved an advanced state of self-love and sexiness. If you’re full of self-doubt, the best way to change things up is to dress up. Put on a tie. Put on clean pressed cloths. You’ll notice that you catch people’s eyes. This is what happens when you’re sexy. Let the clothes lead you the right way. Believe that you belong in the street in sharp cloths. You have a right to be there, looking sexy.
Start conversations. Don’t say greasy stuff, or even ask for dates. Just say hello to people and ask how they’re doing. You can do this at coffee shops, or to sales people. Approaching women on the street can be creepy, yes, but there are still ways to manage it. Join social groups or clubs. Tell people about your interests. Having passion and self-confidence when you talk will normalize interactions for you. The dates will come later.
Listen to other people. Listen to what people say about themselves. Don’t cut them off. Let them finish their thoughts. Ask questions. Don’t use their stories as an excuse to stop them and tell your story about your thing. Give them room to talk. People who feel like they’re being listened to will find you sexy.
Dating is a numbers game. Not everyone you meet will like you that way. If you can make female friends, they’ll notice you’re single and want to set you up. Believe me it works. You’ll feel sexy again in no time.
Tell us what you think