I talk about female arousal a lot, and how the key to better sex—to getting a threesome, to having anal sex, to finding that G-spot—is increasing her arousal.
A woman can enjoy sex and even orgasm at a very basic level of excitement. Some women don’t even know themselves how much higher they can go.
But if you Google this, you don’t find many instructions. You find tips for her about increasing women’s libido— exercise more, get enough sleep, that kind of thing. It’s all good advice, but it’s not the same thing. Desire for sex and arousal levels are related, but different.
How to Intensify Female Arousal
1. Improve the emotional connection and intimacy.
Whether it’s a casual encounter or a long term love connection, a woman’s sexual response is strongly intertwined with emotion.
Men often report feeling attracted to women they have no connection to or even dislike. A blow-up doll or sex robot can be hot!
This can happen for women too, but by and large we experience better sex when we have a positive connection. Very few sex dolls sell to women. We often prefer to sleep with an average joe who makes us laugh than a bodybuilder with a meh personality.
2. Raise her anticipation of sex.
Sex should start long before it begins! You can keep her on slow simmer by sending her occasional reminders of what you did together or what you hope to do later.
Anticipation is important during sex too. Getting kinky with sensation play, restraints, role reversals, and other experiments is a great way to keep things going.
3. Practice restraint and orgasm denial techniques.
You can all get your orgasms over with and roll over, satisfied enough.
But building up towards her orgasm, then withholding it, is the best way to increase the level of a woman’s arousal. Aching for orgasm is key to getting more intensity out of sex.
Take your ladies almost there, then hold back. Each time will increase her arousal, and the strength of her orgasm.
4. Give her lots of attention.
A woman who feels she is interchangeable won’t get too hot and bothered.
We’re well aware of the fact that there are lots of hot women competing for your attention. But we have our pick too, and if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather curl up with my cat and a book, or maybe get there quickly with my vibrator.
Pay attention to her clothes, hair, and body. Let her know that right now, you are making love to HER, not to a generic set of breasts.
5. Increase blood flow and circulation.
Circulation and blood flow might feel super medical, but they are essential concepts in female arousal, not just in your erections. She can operate on less, but won’t reach her potential heights that way.
Anticipation and restraint/denial work here, and so does intermittent touching, stopping and starting, a vibrator, spanking, massage, erotic tickling, teasing, prolonged and oral sex.
6. Provide visual excitement.
Women are visual creatures too. The hottest part of a threesome for me is getting to see another female naked and aroused, watching the action up close and personal. I love it when we wear lingerie, even though I’m a jeans and ponytail kind of girl out of bed.
Candlelight is romantic because it puts a soft, flattering light in the room that blurs flaws or harsh reality, and lets my eyes take in the curves of her breasts or your biceps, or the hardcore action of penetration. Whether you are with one woman or two, make sure there is some focus on what she can see.
How do you take your lovers higher? Please share your tips in the comments!
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