Just the Tips

How to Approach Trans Women for Sex & Threesomes

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You’re curious. You love women, and you love sex with women. And there’s a hottie in your building who is transgender, or you’ve seen some tantalizing threesome porn that includes trans women.

You’re open minded, attracted, and inclusive. But how do you approach transgender women for sex or threesomes?

You don’t want to come across as a tranny chaser, fetishist, pervert, or any other way that seems exploitive. So what do you say when you see a trans woman you’d like to date?

Meeting Trans Women for Threesomes

Remember that trans women aren’t that different.

Here’s something to keep in mind that can help you relax around transgender women. If you aren’t exploitive or shitty to cis women, there won’t be a problem with how you approach trans women either.

Some transgender women have traditionally male anatomy or have bodies in a state of transition. So what. If you are treating her with the same respect you afford other humans you date, you’re good.

Trust her to show you the ropes.

Don’t get ahead of yourself and start worrying about how you’ll handle her body.

Be excited instead about a shared sensual experience, and let her show you how it works and what she wants when the time comes. And if you’re still confused or unsure about something, just ask.

Follow the tips in our article What You Need to Know for Your TMF Threesome.

Be honest and up front.

When you reach out for a date with a transgender woman, you don’t have to explain anything other than when you plan to pick her up and where.

But if you’re arranging a hookup or trying to set up a transgender threesome, make sure she knows your intention.

Let her know that you find her attractive and that you’re looking for a sexual adventure so that she doesn’t dress for dinner and a movie, or feel used when you don’t want more. Again, the same rules apply when arranging hookups with other women.

It’s okay to let her know that you’ve dated trans women before, or that you haven’t. It’s not about bragging or begging—that’s not the point at all. You just want to reassure her that you are attracted to her as she is, and comfortable, even if you are inexperienced in dating t-girls.

Look for transgender threesomes and hookups on appropriate dating sites.

If you’re looking to get between breasts and booty in a trans-sandwich, you probably don’t want to peruse a site specializing in monogamous Buddhist seniors or kinky male submissives.

It may sound obvious, but so many people neglect to consider where they are shopping. Your approach on a polyamorous BDSM site may be perfectly respectful but all wrong for marriage-minded Catholics. If she’s on the latter, don’t bother her unless you fit the bill.

There are lots of women, including trans women, looking for threesomes or hookups on sites like FindaThreesome.com. Or go directly to a transgender dating site like those recommended in Hookup Land’s list of the best trans dating sites.

Consider dating, not just sex.

If you meet a trans woman in person and find yourself super attracted to her, or intrigued by her repertoire of shared interests, maybe it’s time to consider dating.

There are lots of transgender women looking for sex, don’t get me wrong. But unless you are ONLY looking for trans threesomes (maybe you spend most of your time out of town working, or you’re in an open marriage) consider asking her out for a date and getting to know her.

It can be a lot easier for trans women to find sex than to find guys willing to date them. Thankfully that is all changing, but still too slowly.

Here’s the general rule—if you are looking for women for dating AND sex, then look at transgender women for dating AND sex too.

Do you have dating or sex experiences with trans women? What tips can you share?

Tell us what you think!

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