It’s happened to every guy—all evidence shows that you’re dating a horny hottie, and then bam, all she wants is long walks on the beach or Netflix without the chill.
Maybe you’ve had all kinds of kinky experiences and threesomes with her, but now she wants to wear fuzzy slippers and have her friends over without inviting them to take off their clothes.
What gives? Will you ever find yourself in between two curvy redheads again? Will she ever again beg you to pull down your pants and satisfy her hungry mouth?
When she doesn’t want sex, remember…
Fluctuations in desire are natural.
We all have ups and downs in our libido. They reflect health, stress, and life events. Medication and contraception can also affect when and how horny a woman gets. Downturns allow a person to focus on other parts of life—if our desire stayed at its highest pitch, no one could ever get ahead at work or visit Nana at the senior’s center.
Women’s cyclical hormones every month bring a constant flux. Plus, after the heady rush of a new relationship, it’s normal for desire to drop a bit, and other aspects of a relationship to come into focus.
None of this means hot sex is over. But it comes and goes in waves, and everyone is different.
The big dip is partly created by the cultural shift.
In different times, the map would look different. You would spend months—or years—begging to cop a feel. If you got too fresh, you’d have to wait even longer. Eventually you got to petting in the car, making out like the ship was going down, and maybe kinky sex.
The changing social attitudes towards women’s sexuality today mean this often goes the other way around. You both charge in full throttle and hook up early, she puts all her cards on the table, you share kinky adventures and lustful moments—but eventually she has to catch her breath.
Touching and intimacy are important.
Ironically, one reason for a drop in sexual interest from a woman is that she WANTS physical intimacy! If sex starts to feel like just porn and mechanical thrills, her body recoils.
A woman won’t be turned on if she feels like a blow-up doll or if you never touch her outside of sex. If you skip kissing and go straight to sex, her body starts to feel interchangeable.
That might be fine at first when she’s test driving the new man, or in it for the sex and not the strings, but if you’re an item and you’re not physically intimate beyond pervy acrobatics, a woman will lose interest.
Guys who hold hands, kiss a lot, and are physically affectionate outside the bedroom don’t get that deep freeze.
She wants sex with YOU, not with you and someone else.
One mistake guys make is thinking that the threesome is the holy grail. Think of kinky experiments together as the snack, and sweet wild love between the two of you as the main course. If all you want is other pussy, if you’re always planning a threeway and not very excited about her and her alone, the excitement of threesomes will suddenly fall flat for her.
If she doesn’t feel that you desire her, and you don’t show your gratitude and excitement that she willingly gets naked with you, she’s not going to be horny or want to go that extra mile.
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